I had a good laugh (a “you have to laugh, or go insane” laugh) this morning while reading “The 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2005” over at The BEAST .
You should give it a read, and take your own laughs. Here’s two examples from the list:
15. Karl Rove
Charges: A greasy pig whose only distinction in life is his total lack of decency. Rove is decidedly not a genius; he is simply missing the part of his soul that prevents the rest of us from kicking elderly women in the face. His admirers have elevated fanatical, amoral ambition to the status of a virtue, along with lying, cheating, and negligent homicide, all in the name of “values.” Quite possibly the worst person in the worst White House in American history.
Exhibit A: “As people do better, they start voting like Republicans – unless they have too much education and vote Democratic, which proves there can be too much of a good thing.”
Sentence: Lowered head first into oil refinery smokestack.
…
6. Michael Jackson
Charges: Jackson’s second escape from accountability for a well-known lust for little boys was disappointing, but at least his image is forever ruined, causing him to flee the country. Unfortunately, his own imperiled children have not been taken from him. First plan upon acquittal was to build another amusement park, this time in Africa, where apparently it must be easier to buy off parents and/or potential prosecutors. Currently in Bahrain, where he is negotiating a consultant job with a company to help set up—yup—theme parks. Like a spider whose web has been destroyed, Jackson simply relocates and spins a new one. On top of all of this, he hasn’t recorded a decent track since Thriller’s success drove him off the deep end, and has retroactively ruined such now-creepy titles as “PYT (Pretty Young Thing)” and “The Way You Make Me Feel.”
Exhibit A: Truly living in a fantasy world of his own creation, Jackson insists with a (figuratively) straight face that he has only had a nose job. Remember when Prince was weird?
Sentence: Forced to actually relive his childhood, including all of the beatings and molestation which transformed him into the inhuman freak he is today.
