A Bit Of Context

Right, so let me explain.

I’ve been down in Boston since Tuesday, for work. Yes, I have been travelling a lot for work lately. Yes, I am not best pleased about this.

On this particular trip my preferred hotel was full, so I once again had to stay across the street in the castle. Normally, this doesn’t really mean much to me–the rooms are smaller, the selection of TV channels is a little worse, and the internet service is a bit slower, but since I’m rarely in the room except to sleep that doesn’t matter much. The one way in which it can make a difference, as I’ve just discovered, is in the other guests.

The hotel I normally stay in is a small hotel of all suites, suited to business travellers. The back-up hotel is a big hotel that does a lot of conferences (indeed, the first time I stayed here was for a Readercon). Like, for instance, the conference of church ladies that showed up here on Thursday.

I don’t believe I can fully explain this experience. I walked into the hotel, tired from a couple of long days at work, to find that the entire lobby was fully of large, middle-aged, black ladies, all wearing Sunday-best dresses, a generous amount of perfume, and carrying Bibles.

I can’t recall what the formal name of the event was… something like the “African-American Women’s Gospel Alliance” or something similar. The ladies I asked in the elevator said it was “a retreat for ladies… church ladies.”

Speaking of the elevator–that was an experience. I got in, and suddenly there were (I am not exaggerating) twelve church ladies jammed in there with me. These were… um.. some big-boned women, so there was literally no room in the elevator–wall-to-wall flesh. I was pressed into a corner, trying to shrink further and further back, to give the ladies some room. However, it was impossible to maintain any separation, as they did this clown-car manoeuvrer. One of the ladies who was directly pressed up to me looked up and said “I hope you aren’t feeling too squished up”, and another of ladies kind of cackled and said (in a strong Islands accent) “Ain’t no man ever going to complain about being squished up with a bunch of ladies”. And then they all laughed… all the way to their floor.

On the whole, the “suddenly the hotel is overrun with church ladies” experience that day was pretty shocking, but also amusing. I must say, though, that the church ladies were both very loud, and up very late. Of all the noises you stereotypically expect to keep you awake from the next hotel room, “Praise Jesus!” over and over again isn’t one… at least not in this context.

Friday was even better. Part of the reason I’m here is because some Australians are here to work with me–including the guys from my out of control birthday celebration. Naturally we wanted to get a pint after work on Friday, so we popped into the hotel pub. While we were sitting there, the church ladies descended: from the pub you have a clear view of the hallway between the hotel’s rooms and the conference area. And as we sat there, the church ladies marched in–except this time they were all wearing matching bright blue dresses, with big blue hats. The Australians were stunned. In fact they had to peek into the conference rooms to see the full proceedings, which were apparently something they had never run into before.

Now, don’t get me wrong: I’ve got nothing against the church ladies. They literally radiated niceness. These women were the polar opposites of Fred Phelps–women who build a community and are concerned about their fellow people. They were confident in their faith, but not automatically considering everyone else damned. And, I bet when their churches put on a potluck there’s some really fine eating.

However, being the sort of contrary person I am, being surrounded by all this happy faith (and being kept awake by it for a couple of consecutive days) has made me feel like nothing more than spending some time with proud, unrepentant folks.

However, since I’ve lost touch with the ones I used to know in Boston, I’ve been driven to literature.