So, we know that I like Revelations, especially some of the bits at the end, and especially including God’s no-modifications open license.
We also know that I like Hal Duncan, and especially when he’s being his most over-the-top flagrantly intellectual.
You might not know that I have a sentimental affection for historical surrealists and Burroughs, and thus, by extension for the cut-up.
You might have noticed that I don’t have a lot of time for religion, and as a cocky atheist I have an artistic interest in blasphemy, especially when it’s useful for poking the faithful.
I think we can also take it as read that I like stories. Especially free stories.
Bearing all of that in mind allow me to quote a little bit from Hal’s latest blog post, Get Yer Free Blasphemy Here, (which you should read in it’s entirety). First, some colour:
Fuck that shit. Dawkins and Pullman pussy out with their atheist dismissals of the monomaniac’s myth; they don’t go far enough. Where’s Kit Marlowe when you need him? “Jesus was a bastard, his mother was a whore, and John the Baptist was his bedfellow.” Now that’s what I call dissing the Deus. I mean, there’s the scornful blasphemy born of disbelief, but then there’s the outright metaphysical moxie of an insult that’s willing to suspend disbelief in the cocksucking cuntmunching craven cur of a so-called creator just long enough to call him out for a square go, the blasphemy that tries its damnedest (forgive the pun) to be as bold as it can be, because the story being sold is so pernicious that mere denial ain’t enough. It’s the blasphemy that says, dude, if you believe this bullshit about sin and salvation, you should be spitting in that fucker’s face instead of praying to him, because that “benevolent” bastard makes Cthulhu look compassionate.
And then the meat of the matter, as ’twere:
See, y’all know Revelation, right? The last book of the New Testament, the one with all the Antichrist and Armageddon gubbins, all the Rapture and wrath of God malarky? You may not have read it, but you’re bound to be familiar with its zany eschatological content, even if only by way of horror movies and heavy metal lyrics. Well, if you have read it, you may recall the lines where a curse is laid out on anyone that fucks around with the text. Add to the words of this book, we’re told, and that’s bad news, baby. Take away from the words of this book, and that’s just as bad. We’re talking biblical plagues, baby, a pointy reckoning upon anyone who adds to or takes away from the words of this book.
Course, it doesn’t say anything about changing the order of those words.
So, yeah, strictly speaking, by the letter of the law, there’s nothing at all wrong with a cut-up and fold-in rewrite of Revelation in which God is the bad guy, is there? Shit, isn’t that injunction almost inviting an exploitation of the loophole? Isn’t it almost like that one little path through the small print is left open precisely because it’s meant to be taken? Isn’t it all just a little suggestive that the secret is there to be revealed in this most inscrutable of prophecies, if one is only willing to… think outside the box, so to speak? No? No?
And so, here at the Geek Show, that’s what I’ve been working on over the last week or two — a rewrite of every evangelical evil-basher’s favourite apocalyptic rantfest, using the exact same words as are in the original (or in the RSV translation, at least,) just splicing and dicing the sentences that they happen to be in. Not one word added, and not one word taken away, and frankly I think my version makes a damn sight more sense, even if I do say so myself. You know, I might even go so far as to say that if you were simply setting out to make sense of that scripture from an objective standpoint, trying to decipher the divine and diabolical delirium of it… well, the contradictions and confusions all click into place if you just adopt a few heretical hypotheses. Shit, the scary thing is you don’t even have to change that much to flip the message; even in the original God comes across as a fucking murderous sociopath.
The story is available as a free download from Duncan’s site. Knock yourself out. (And while you’re there, download the other free story and the 12 downloads of Duncan reading his epic poetry–dig the accent.)
Oh, and Duncan mentions it in his post, but I’ll pimp his new book, Escape From Hell, here too. In theory I have a copy coming from Monkeybrain. (And here’s a typically huge post of Duncan’s from a couple of years back that might function as a teaser for the book.)
